Feelings of Nothing Redux
by Link Shinigami
Summary: Feelings of Nothing Redux, is the reformatted, re-edited, version of Feelings of Nothing. Complete, R/R please!
1. Feelings of Nothing

Feelings of Nothing  
  
  
  
The day was uncommonly cold, as Jack walked down the mountain path from his normal visit to Maria on her day off. Oh he loved her so, but he dare not tell her, because Jack feared rejection, something that he was quite used to among women. Jack knew that he would soon tell her how he felt, but now was not the time, for he had more important things to worry about besides love. He had his farm, his animals, and he felt inside he had to live up to his grandfathers' expectations.  
  
Jack arrived back at his farm, to see that Harris had just been there, because he had mail. Jack walked over to the mailbox, and opened the letter. As he read it over, he slowly came into realisation of what it was about. Jack slowly let the letter drop to the ground, and walked out of his farm, and down to the beach, to where he just sat in the sand, slowly crying to himself.   
  
Maria decided she would take Jack lunch, so she walked over to his farm, with a small lunch wrapped in a napkin, and knocked on his door. "Jack? Are you home? I brought you a lunch." Maria said, in loud voice, well for her at least. No answer came, so Maria decided she would look around. She checked the barn, the chicken coup, and the field, but she couldn't find him. Maria sighed with sadness, as she walked away, "I guess he is not home.." Maria said, as she walked passed the mailbox, stepping on the letter.   
  
The letter crackled and crumbled underneath of her small feet. "What's that?" Maria thought, as she looked down, and saw the letter. Maria picked up the letter and slowly started to read it. Maria slowly dropped the napkin with the food in it, and walked away, letting go of the letter. As Maria walked out of the farm, she slowly started to run, tears slowly starting to stream from her face, as she started to cry.  
  
The cool breeze picked up, slowly blowing the letter around, causing it to fly up and get stuck in a tree. From way atop the tree. It looked like a small flag that possible Kent and Stu once used that got away. But really, it was a tool of pain, and something that could play with someone's emotions easily.. [I know you are all dying to find out what it said, ne? So here..]   
  
As Jack sat on the beach, the breeze, slowly playing with his hair, he started to reread the letter in his mind ... "Jack, I know your feelings for Maria know, and I know your past feelings for me.. I am sorry to have to do this to you now, but I have finally come within myself, to understand, that I love you...I am sorry for telling you now, but please, tell me if you feel the same way now.. Karen.... P.S: Answer back by leaving this blank in the mailbox for yes.. And take it away for no.."  
  
Jack fell backwards in the sand, knowing his feelings for Karen still existed, but knew his feelings for Maria were stronger for Karen, but he knew he left the letter blank.. He felt terrible, and still didn't know what he really wanted to do. Maria ran into her room, ignoring her mother, and dropped herself on her bed, crying, afraid the man she was starting to love, would just leave her. She didn't know what he would do, and she was afraid because of it. 


	2. False love False pain, and idiotic choic...

Feelings of Nothing...  
False love. False pain, and idiotic choices..  
  
Jack slowly stood up in the sand, and looked around, deeply sighing. As Jack turned around, he saw Karen standing at the entrance to the beach, and he slowly got nervous. Karen gave him a small smile, but in that small smile, you could see pain, pain from betrayal, pain from distrust.. Pain from a lot of things.  
  
"Jack...I'm sorry I had to do this too you, I understand that you don't feel the same way as I do for you.. I'll stay away from your love life from now on..." Karen said, as a small tear started to come from her eye. "Karen.. I left the letter on the ground...I thought you would find it... It was left blank..." Karen was shot back from that, and looked at him confused. "But..I couldn't find it..." Karen said, as she slowly walked over to him, with her head down, "I guess it doesn't matter.." She finished, as she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a hug.   
  
Jack returned Karens hug, by embracing her back, slowly sighing, and breathing in the smell of her hair, and letting what he thought was happiness flow through his body, when it was really the future sadness, and torment of what he had just done. "Karen..I don't love you..Not right now at least..I'm sorry.." Jack said, as he slowly pushed her away. Karen pulled herself closer, "I never expected you too..But I want you to know that I love you..." Karen replied, as she buried her head into his chest.  
  
Jack slowly let his arms slide down to Karens side, and slowly stepped back, causing Karen to have a confused look, "Jack..What is it?" She asked, looking at him concerned. Jack shook his head, "Its nothing.." He answer, as he slowly gripped her chin firmly with is hand, and tilted his head up, then kissing her. Karen slowly melted, and pulled Jack closer to her, pushing the kiss deeper and deeper into passion, until Jack pulled his head away with a sigh.   
  
"Jack..? Tell me what it is...I know something is bothering you.." Karen said, as she looked up into his eyes, tears slowly forming in them, because the one she loved was in pain. "Its nothing.." Jack replied, as he hugged her, even though he knew he was lying to her, and himself.   
  
Jack pulled away, slowly kissing her forehead, as he looked up at the entrance, to see a girl standing there, her dress being blown in the wind, as well as her hair being blown. The girl, slowly started to turn but then stopped. "I-I-I've--A-A-Always-B-B-Been--" she started, but then taking a deep breath, and finishing, "Afraid to confront my problems, but this I will no let go! Jack..I thought you loved me, but what I really see, is you lying to me, and braking my heart....Jack..I, loved you..But now..What I feel..Is nothing..I have feelings of nothing for you Jack..And..And.." Maria tried finishing, but instead, started to cry, and then turned around and ran... 


	3. Pains of arguments, Pains of the past, P...

Feelings of Nothing  
Pains of arguments..Pains of the past..Pains of the present..  
  
  
As Jack felt a pain in his heart when Maria cried, and ran, he started to run, but felt a pull on him, as if something was holding him back. Jack looked around, and saw Karen, holding his arm. "Jack.. You had your choice between me, and her.. And you choose me.. Don't be going back on it now.." Karen said, as she pulled him closer in to her. "But.." Jack said, then stopped, as Karen hugged his arm.   
  
Jack sighed, as Karen slowly managed to get in front of him, and then pulled his head down to hers. Jack tried to pull away, but couldn't because by the time he decided to, Karen had already pressed her lips on his, and the kiss was growing in passion.   
  
As Karen buried her tongue in Jacks mouth, she knew that he was upset, but she didn't care. His choice was her, not Maria, so he should damn well be happy to be with her. As the kiss finished up, Karen felt Jack become restless, then before she knew it, she was thrown on the ground, and Jack was running. Karen quickly stood up, "Fine then! If that's how you want it! You bastard!" Karen said, then slowly fell to her knees in the sand, "You bastard..." She said again, but now crying.  
  
As Jack hit the crossroads for his farm, the mountain, and town, he saw Maria, slowly walking back to her house. Jack started to run to catch up with her, but stopped when he saw Harris put his arms around her, near the cemetery. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he could tell that Maria wasn't crying as hard as before. "I'm sorry.." Jack said slowly, as he turned around and started back to his farm.   
  
Jack got into his small house, and started to cry, he had hurt the person he loved the most in the world, Jack didn't know what he could do.. Except what he had only tried once.. Jack walked into the small kitchen, found a knife, and slowly rolled up his sleeve. "Maybe, they will never learn.. Maybe they will think I became a hermit.. Who knows.." Jack thought, as he ran the knife over his vain, but not cutting it.  
  
Jack frowned, as he slashed at his arm instead of his vain, the blood immediately started rushing out. Jack let out a cry of pain, as he realized what he did, and then noticed as the blood dripped over onto the floor. "I hate myself.. I hate my life.. I hate myself.. I hate my life..." Jack muttered, as he dropped the knife, and slowly dragged himself to the washroom. "I deserved this...I hope I die.." Jack thought  
  
10 minutes later, after the bleeding had slowed, Jack wrapped a towel around his arm to stop the bleeding, then slowly got thread, and a needle, and stitched up his arm. "It has stopped bleeding.. But I hope I die anyway.." Jack thought, as he walked into his small bedroom, and fell asleep. 


	4. Tears of wanting, tears of joy Tears of ...

Feelings of Nothing...  
Tears of wanting, tears of joy..Tears of those.  
  
  
Jack slowly woke up the morning after cutting his arm, feeling a little dizzy from the loss of blood. Jack slowly sat up, "I hate myself..." He though, as he slowly unwrapped the towel from his arm, to see that his cut was getting infected. "Damn.. I better go get this looked at.." Jack mumbled, as he jumped out of bed.  
  
Jack did his usual chores, then left the farm to see if the midwife was up yet, he knew he would have to make up some story, but he didn't care...Not anymore at least. Jack arrived at the Midwifes house, and was about to knock on the door, when he saw Maria walking over to the library. Jack watched her, but kept turning his head away, as if he was waiting for the Midwife. He didn't want her to see the pain in the eyes, even if she didn't care for him anymore, he still knew he loved her.  
  
Maria walked along the sidewalk, near the Midwifes house, nodding, and saying "Jack." In a simple greeting voice. Jack turned to see her walk into the library, and decided he should go apologise, so he ran into library behind her. "Maria.." Jack said, in a blunt voice. "What is it Jack..?" Maria asked, just looking up with her eyes, then peering back down at her book.  
  
"Maria.. I'm sorry.. What --" Jack was interrupted, but the book slamming shut. "Jack! Stop this shit! You choose who you wanted! Don't think because it doesn't work with the girl you chose, you can just come back to me! Now I'd appreciate it if you would leave! There are some people that really do appreciate me here! And They may be stopping by! So goodbye Jack!" Maria shouted at him, crying softly, but still very angry non the less. "Fine then..." Jack said slowly, starting to cry, "I'll stay away from you...I'll stay away from everyone.. I'll kee--" Jack started rambling off as he left the library, and bumped into Harris, who was entering the library.   
  
"Maria? Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?" Harris asked, as he looked at Maria, only giving Jack enough room to squeeze by. Maria shook her head, as Jack slowly turned, "Mind your own business." Jack said, as he pushed Harris. "When you hurt this beautiful women! I make it my business!" Harris yelled as he pushed Jack back.   
  
Jack grabbed Harris by the shoulder, and rose his fist to hit him, when Cliff grabbed his wrist. "Jack.. Come on, I don't think you want this..". Jack slowly let his hand that Cliff was holding drop, but the hand that was on Harris's shoulder, he clenched into a fist, and quickly gave Harris a left hook, then started to walk away. Cliff let go of Jack, and watched as Harris rubbed hi jaw, but saw he was too much of a coward to go after him. "Harris, leave for awhile please." Cliff said, as Harris gave him a dirty look. Harris left, and Cliff started talking to Maria, he was telling her all that happen, he had seen everything when he was visiting Ann, so he thought he would clear things up for Maria.  
  
Jack walked into the Midwifes house, just showing her his arm, to avoid talking. She immediately started taking care of it, as Jack spun some lie so she wouldn't know anything about what really happen. 


	5. Ego rushs, Ego losses, and Ego envy

Feelings of Nothing  
Ego rushs, Ego losses, and Ego envy  
  
  
Jack left the Midwifes house, knowing that he was a coward for what he tried last night. But he didn't care, because it was all coming down to him making yet another stupid idea. Cliff was waiting for Jack at the cemetery, and quickly told him what he did when he walked by. Jack nodded, and Cliff rushed off quickly to get fish for his dinner that night.  
  
As Jack came into the crossroads between the mountain, vineyard, and the two farms, he saw Harris. Harris looked mad, Jack didn't really care. He would kill him if he tempted him, and he was quite sure he knew he could do it. "You had no right to see her Jack. You b--" Harris started, but was stopped by Jack. "Shut your mouth, you foolish man. Mind your buisiness, and keep your nose out of others." Jack said rudely, as he walked by him.   
  
"Now you listen here! I am the type of person for Maria! And you know it! You're just mad because you made a stupid decision!" Harris yelled at Jack, not thinking before he spoke. "And what does stupid decision mean?" Jack asked, ready to attack him at any moment. "You know what I mean, Maria told me, and I also read a letter Karen sent to Ann this morning." Harris said, with a stuck up smile. Jack clenched his fist, "Mind your business, and I'll leave you alone. So get stay away from Maria." Jack shouted, as he turned and walked away.   
  
Jack was interrupted while walking away, from the idiotic post officers' bag of letters. Jack turned around, "You stupid bastard." Jack said, as he walked up to the now, brave Harris. "You actually think you could hurt me?" Jack said, acting tough. Harris nodded, acting brave. "Then lets fight, unless your a coward." Jack said, as Harris glared at him angrily.  
  
Harris stuck his fists up, like the type of person that has fought before. Jack laughed, then quickly gave Harris a left hook, throwing him back. "You were warned Harris." Jack said, as he quickly threw another fist at him, hitting him in the lip. Harris flew backwards, "Bastard.." Harris muttered, as he hit the hard ground.   
  
Jack turned around and started to walk away, when Harris idiotically got up, ran and tackled him. Harris unleashed a flurry of punches on Jack. Jack kicked him off, and spit out some blood, Jack didn't know it, or at least he wouldn't admit it, Harris hurt him a little. Jack stood up, and pulled Harris up too, then quickly, giving him several punches to the face, knocking him unconscious.   
  
Jack dragged the now unconscious Harris to the beach, leaving a small trail of his blood in the sand, as he dragged him onto the dock, and pushed him off. "Goodbye you stupid bastard.." Jack muttered, as Harris sunk. As Harris sunk out of site, Jack slowly started to cry, then looked at his hands.   
  
"What did I do.. What did I just do.. I killed him.. I killed..." Jack started rambling off, as he put his hands to his eyes and cried. "I'm sorry.." Jack said to the water, as a letter from Harris's pocket floated up. Jack quickly grabbed it, and opened it.   
  
As he read, he soon learned that Maria didn't have feelings for Harris, but she still had feelings for Jack. As Jack came to the bottom of the letter, it had Maria's name signed, and jack realised that he got in a fight over nothing with Harris, and let it go to far, for nothing. Jack dropped the letter into the water, and watched as the waves bashed it around, and slowly took it out to sea.  
  
Jack got up, washed the wiped the blood from his hands, and walked away. Jack thought as he kept walking to his farm. Jack saw Maria, sitting besides the mailbox, semi-crying. Jack walked past her, his hands still covered in the blood of the innocent man he killed. "Jack.. Cliff...He.. Explained everything.." She said, slowly, as Jack walked to his pond, and cleaned his hands.   
  
The water slowly absorbed the blood of Harris, and turned back to its normal blue, as Maria's reflection came over it. "And I want you to know, that I accept your apology..." She finished, smiling, as Jack could see from the pond. Jack shouted inside his head, "The one for me cheating on her!? The one for me killing Harris!? The one for me not just letting it go!? What one!?" Jack shouted louder in his head.   
  
"I'm sorry for everything.. Maria.. Please accept all of my apologies.." Jack whispered into her ear, as he hugged her.. Starting to cry slowly. "I will.." Maria said, as she buried her head into his chest. 


	6. A sweet hug, a sweet kiss, and a bad cho...

Feelings of Nothing  
A sweet hug, a sweet kiss, and a bad choice  
  
  
  
Jack slowly pushed Maria away, looking into her eyes. "So...." He said, in a quiet, and confused voice. A small smile slowly crept onto the young women creamy skin. "I love you.." Maria said, as she slowly let her arms fall from his shoulders, and took his hand. "Can we go for a walk? Like we used too?" Maria asked, with a smile on her face. Jack nodded quickly, and happily, as she started to tug him away.  
  
As they came onto the path for the mountain, Kai walked bye. "Has either of you two seen Harris? Karen's parents asked me to find him, but he is no where to be seen.." Kai said. Maria shook her head, as did Jack, knowing he knew where he.. Where he laid, at the bottom of the ocean off the.. Because of him. Kai left quickly after to find him.  
  
Maria took Jack up the path they usually took on many walks before, but this time, she led him onto a different path. "Do you know we are going?" Jack asked, as Maria stopped, and turned around to him. "I just felt like taking this path.." She said, softly, as she wrapped her arms around him, and gave him a soft hug. Jack returned her sweetness with a soft kiss, causing Maria to blush.   
  
"I love you.." Jack whispered into her ear, before he nuzzled his head into her neck, slowly kissing it. Maria giggled from the touch of Jacks lips on her neck, but managed to get out, "I love you too.". Maria and Jack stayed up n the mountains for a long time, holding each other, kissing each other, and softly hugging each other.  
  
Jack stood up, "Are you hungry? I.. How about we go back to my house, and I can make you some dinner?" Jack asked, as he helped Maria up. Maria slowly nodded, as Jack took her hand, and they started to walk down the path, back to his house.  
  
When they got to Jacks house, Jack immediately went into the kitchen, and started making dinner, while Maria looked around. When Jack came back in with the food, Maria sat down at the table, and waited for Jack. Jack sat down the plates, with steamed cabbage, and chicken, and then sat down. Maria and Jack both ate their dinner quite fast.  
  
When they finished, Jack put away the dishes, and hugged Maria, as she stood up. "I love you.." Jack whispered into her ear, as he kissed her neck. Maria hugged Jack, and slowly pushed him away. "Why don't we watch some TV?" Maria asked, as Jack frowned a little. "Ok." He answered, as he waked over to the couch, and turned on the TV, and sat down next to Maria.   
  
Jack slowly ran his hand through her hair, then started kissing her neck. "Please stop.." Maria asked, as she slowly pushed him away. Jack took heed, and laid off. A few minutes later, Jack was doing it again, but this time it took a little more then just a stop to get him to lay off, but he eventually did. 


	7. Hurting feelings, hurting yourself Hurti...

Feelings of Nothing  
Hurting feelings, hurting yourself...Hurting the one you love  
  
  
  
Jack started to run his hand through Maria's hair again. "Jack! I said stop it!" She yelled at him, as she moved over, Jack instantly grabbing her hand, and pulling her closer. Maria struggled to get away from Jack, but couldn't. "Please Jack, let me go." Maria said, trying to be calm, but Jack didn't, instead, he just started to lightly kiss her neck.   
  
"Jack, stop! I don't like you doing that!" Maria yelled at him, hitting him with her free arm. Jack didn't stop, he wouldn't even answer her. Maria didn't have a clue what had come over Jack, the person she knew as a nice, and polite man. "Jack, please stop! I'm not co--" Maria was cut off by Jack kissing her.  
  
As Jack plunged his tongue into Maria's mouth, he was thinking, , but Jack didn't have much more time to think, because Maria bit down on his tongue, trying to get him to stop, and he did. Jack shot back with a small yelp, giving Maria enough time to get up, and start to run.  
  
As Maria started to run, she was grabbed by the waist, ad lifted up by Jack. Maria kicking and screaming the whole while for help. Jack carried Maria over to his bed, and threw her on it, then, pinning her down to his bed, and kissing her. Maria was trying to kick Jack, so he would get off her, but the way he had positioned himself, she couldn't reach.  
  
After a while, Jack let go of one of Maria's hand, allowing her to slap him, and scratch him a few times. During this time, Jack put his hands on her leg, and moved it up, until he was at her panties, where he then ripped them off. Maria let out a scream when he did that, and she started slapping him harder, and tried to cut him while scratching him, she knew what he was going to do.  
  
As Maria hit Jack more, he undid his pants, then raped her. Jack put his hand back onto Maria's other hand as he did this, to avoid being hit anymore. "Bastard! You stupid bastard!" Maria yelled continuously, as Jack raped her harder. Maria's yells of fear got louder and louder as Jack progressed.   
  
When Jack finished, he took his hands off of Maria's, giving her enough time to slap him more, in which she did. Jack still stood the same way, but doing up his pants, as Maria dug her nails into his forehead, and scratched him, this time, drawing blood. She was somewhat relieved when she did this, because now she would have more of a grip to slash him from the next time.  
  
Jack all of a sudden came back to his senses, and looked at what he did, as the blood flowed over his eyes. "Oh God... What.. What.. I'm sorry.." He said, sounding confused, and sad, as he ran out. Maria, holding her dress down now, yelling at him, "You bastard! Go to hell!!!" She yelled, starting to cry.   
  
Maria, curled up into a ball, and started to cry, after what that bastard did to her. She gave him another chance, and he betrayed it, by doing something as stupid to rape her. Maria only had bad thoughts for him now, she would never talk to him again, or even look at him, after what he did.. I hope he.. That stupid, stupid bastard.. Maria thought in her mind, as she cried harder. 


	8. Farewell world, farewell Farewell life

Feelings of Nothing  
Farewell world, farewell ... Farewell life  
  
  
As Jack ran to of his farm area, he ran into Karen, who gave him the same snare as usual since the last incident, but something made her follow him, could she have sensed something wrong with him? Who knows.   
  
As Karen followed Jack, running at his normal speed up Moon Mountain, she was wondering what happen, or who he was meeting, because she had never seen him in such a hurry. Jack?!" She yelled out as they crossed the bridge over the river. "I raped her.." Jack yelled back, tripping over a rock.  
  
Karen got besides him, and helped him up, "What do you me--" She started, but Jack was off running again. Karen thought, as she followed behind him, calling to him to see if he would stop and talk the whole time.  
  
When Karen got to the top of Moon Mountain, and saw Jack standing at the edge, peering over. "Jack!? What are you doing!?" Karen yelled at him, as he slowly turned around. "I am jumping off! What does it matter to you!?" Jack yelled back at her, angry, because she interrupted him.  
  
"What ever it is, it does not concern you! Besides, I wouldn't tell you anyway!" Jack yelled to her, as he turned back around. Karen backed up a little, half taking in what he said, and half getting ready to kill him. "You asshole! I am trying to help, and you will not even recognise that!" Karen yelled back at him, as she started to walk over to him.  
  
Jack sat on the ledge, and sighed. Karen saw, and walked over and sat next to him. "What is wrong..?" She asked, looking over the edge too. "I.. I.. Hurt Maria.. And I regret it terribly..." Jack said, just loud enough for Karen to hear. "What did you do? When you yelled "I r-" Oh my God! You bastard! You perverted bastard! You did didn't you!?" Karen asked, as she smacked Jack over the back of the head.  
  
"What I did is none of your damn concern! So stay out of my business!" Jack yelled at her, as he clinched his fist. "Fine then Jack, you stupid asshole! I hope you enjoy hell, and I hope you enjoy ruining something with her! She may have taken you from me! But she did not deserve what you did to her!" Karen yelled at him, as she got up and walked away.  
  
Jack looked over his shoulder at her, and saw her a far ways gone. Jack thought, as he stood up. "I am sorry Maria...I am.." Jack whispered to himself, as he closed his eyes, and jumped. Karen turned around, in time to see Jack jump, and watched as he disappeared over the edge. "Jack!?" She yelled as she ran to the edge and looked over, and could faintly see as he fell, then disappeared into the endless acres of trees below.  
  
Karen stood up, and started to walk down the mountain. Karen thought to herself, as she crossed the bridge. Karen knew she would have to tell everyone what had happen, but she would leave it up to Maria to tell everyone he raped her, or if they just had an intimate moment together. 


End file.
